Motherhood

Motherhood ePUB ´ Hardcover
    Motherhood ePUB ´ Hardcover they will become mothers, the narrator of Heti s intimate and urgent novel considers whether she will do so at all In a narrative spanning several years, casting among the influence of her peers, partner, and her duties to her forbearers, she struggles to make a wise and moral choice After seeking guidance from philosophy, her body, mysticism, and chance, she discovers her answer much closer to home Motherhood is a courageous, keenly felt, and starkly original novel that will surely spark lively conversations about womanhood, parenthood, and about how and for whom to live."/>
  • Hardcover
  • 304
  • Motherhood
  • Sheila Heti
  • English
  • 20 April 2017
  • 1627790772

About the Author: Sheila Heti

Motherhood ePUB ´ Hardcover motherhood pdf, MotherhoodMotherhood KindleSheila Heti is the author of five books three books of fiction, a children s book, and a work of non fiction with Misha Glouberman She is Interviews Editor at The Believer and is known for her long interviews She lives in Toronto.


MotherhoodMotherhood ePUB ´ Hardcover motherhood pdf, MotherhoodMotherhood KindleFrom the author of How Should a Person Beone of the most talked about books of the year Time Magazine and the New York Times Bestseller Women in Clothes comes a daring novel about whether to have childrenIn Motherhood, Sheila Heti asks what is gained and what is lost when a woman becomes a mother, treating the most consequential decision of early adulthood with the candor, originality, and humor that have won Heti international acclaim and made How Should A Person Berequired reading for a generationIn her late thirties, when her friends are asking when they will become mothers, the narrator of Heti s intimate and urgent novel considers whether she will do so at all In a narrative spanning several years, casting among the influence of her peers, partner, and her duties to her forbearers, she struggles to make a wise and moral choice After seeking guidance from philosophy, her body, mysticism, and chance, she discovers her answer much closer to home Motherhood is a courageous, keenly felt, and starkly original novel that will surely spark lively conversations about womanhood, parenthood, and about how and for whom to live.

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10 thoughts on “Motherhood

  1. Ariel says:

    Everyone needs to read this book It s about a lady who knows what she wants but feels like maybe she doesn t know what she wants and that s relatable Go get it

  2. Gretchen says:

    I decided I had had enough of this self absorbed, wheel spinning First World Problems book when the author said she felt jealous of gay men why gay men only I don t know for getting the experience of coming out, because it means they knew what they wanted and had occasion to let the rest of the world know The preceding 130 pages were similarly lacking in perspective and empathy, which hollowed out so much of the truly interesting concerns that the narrator author posed, making it all feel lik I decided I had had enough of this self absorbed, wheel spinning First World Problems book when the author said she felt jealous of gay men why gay men only I don t know for getting the experience of coming out, because it means they knew what they wanted and had occasion to let the rest of the world know The preceding 130 pages were similarly lacking in perspective and empathy, which hollowed out so much of the truly interesting concerns that the narrator author posed, making it all feel like an abstracted thought exercise with littlepurpose or action than the central conceit of flipping coins for the random answers to her philosophical questions I ll admit I am not the kind of person who finds agonizing over major decisions pleasurable, nor am I particularly inclined to philosophical maundering for its own sake, but here we are I had hoped for some insight, some personal grappling with a decision I myself have grappled with, and this book felt, for all its pretty language, did not connect for me Partly it s the class differences the bougie and isolated life the author narrator leads tends to make her insights feel disconnected from reality The most interesting parts were when she considered her fraught relationship with the mothers in her family, especially her own In all, this might appeal to a narrow subset of heterosexual, upper class white or Jewish women in their late thirties, but the perspective lent by this book didn t do that demographic any favors here

  3. Jenny (Reading Envy) says:

    Sheila Heti s narrator explores motherhood through numerous lenses as she confronts her age of 37 From coins to dreams to readings, she lets the universe dictate some of the conversation literally while she thinks deeply about motherhood vs societal expectation, motherhood vs feminism, and motherhood vs art A very enjoyable read with lots to think about, but I found I thought of it as essay and had to constantly reframe as a novel Read after hearing about it from Lindy on Reading Envy Po Sheila Heti s narrator explores motherhood through numerous lenses as she confronts her age of 37 From coins to dreams to readings, she lets the universe dictate some of the conversation literally while she thinks deeply about motherhood vs societal expectation, motherhood vs feminism, and motherhood vs art A very enjoyable read with lots to think about, but I found I thought of it as essay and had to constantly reframe as a novel Read after hearing about it from Lindy on Reading Envy Podcast Episode 124 ETA little bits I marked Whether I want kids is a secret I keep from myself it is the greatest secret I keep from myself Why are we still having children A woman must have children because she must be occupied When I think of all the people who want to forbid abortions, it seems it can only mean one thing not that they want this new person in the world, but that they want that woman to be doing the work of child rearingthan they want her to be doing anything else There is something threatening about a woman who is not occupied with children What is she going to do instead What sort of trouble will she make I know a person can enjoy things they never thought they would, and regret terribly things they wanted very much, or can come to want things they didn t want before It suddenly seemed like a huge conspiracy to keep women in their thirties when you finally have some brains and some skills and experience from doing anything useful with them at all It s easy to reward someone for having a child the meaning of their life is so apparent in its solidness and worth The course of their future is so clear To have a child is like being a city with a mountain in the middle Everyone sees the mountain Everyone in the city is proud of the mountain The city is built around it A mountain, like a child, displays something real about the value of the town.In a life in which there is no child, no one knows anything about your life s meaning They might suspect it doesn t have one no centre it is built around Your life s value is invisible How wonderful to tread an invisible path, where what matters most can hardly be seen she s talking about comparison between birthing a child and birthing art People who don t have children might be thought not to move eforward, or change and grow, or have stories that build on stories, or lives of ever increasing depth and love and pain Maybe they seem stalled in one place a place the parents have left behind When a person has a child, they are turned towards their child The rest of us are left in the cold A book lives in every person who reads it I recently learned that what happens in a cocoon is not that a caterpillar grows wings and turns into a butterfly Rather, the caterpillar turns to mush It disintegrates, and out of this mush, a new creature grows Why does no one talk about the mush Or about how, for any change at all to happen, we must, for some time, be nothing be mush That is where you are right now in a state of mush Right now your entire life is mush But only if you don t try and escape it might you emerge one day as a butterfly Only when a woman is no longer attractive to men, can she be left alone for enough moments to actually think I don t have to live every possible life I know I cannot hide from life, that life will give one experiences no matter what I choose

  4. JS is Reading says:

    First, the context that I am a big fan of plotless fiction as well as autobiographical fiction a la Ben Lerner so this combined with my particular stage of life makes me the ideal reader for this book.I could not stop reading it once I started I feel like the conversation that Sheila is having with herself and the characters in this novel is a conversation that no one else is having and it s a book that many young women need, even though they may not even know it I almost wish this book wa First, the context that I am a big fan of plotless fiction as well as autobiographical fiction a la Ben Lerner so this combined with my particular stage of life makes me the ideal reader for this book.I could not stop reading it once I started I feel like the conversation that Sheila is having with herself and the characters in this novel is a conversation that no one else is having and it s a book that many young women need, even though they may not even know it I almost wish this book was titled The Expectation of Motherhood but not really because that is too clunky because it really is about the expectation that all women want to be, will become or are immensely happy within being mothers a fact that society makes it shameful or taboo to express oneself in opposition to There were a few moments I actually gasped with how perfectly she delves into ideas and issues for women around motherhood that I felt deep in my bones but have never been able to articulate I think this will be a controversial book in a good way It is also about the struggle between being an artist creating life through ideas versus being a mother creating life and what it means to pursue one at the cost of the other The book can be quite intellectual at times but it was the emotional journey that this character takes over the course of several years that is really the crux of this story You get to feel the ins and outs of her hesitation, her hope and her pain this character is an open and questioning soul who is honestly looking for answers to, really, unanswerable questions Questions that many young women are afraid to ask themselves, let alone the people around them.Love it or hate it, this book is going to create a lot of conversation and that can only be good for the women whose lives are affected by the expectation of motherhood

  5. Wynne Kontos says:

    The emperor has no clothes people If you enjoyed this, ask yourself are you a white, upper middle class woman who is searching for a long term relationship or already has one Are you in your child bearing years Do you like things like brunch, Apartment Therapy and iced matcha I meet all of these qualifications except for the matcha so I seem to be the exact audience that Sheila Heti is aiming for.But this was 281 pages of the biggest navel gazing I ve ever seen in my entire life What se The emperor has no clothes people If you enjoyed this, ask yourself are you a white, upper middle class woman who is searching for a long term relationship or already has one Are you in your child bearing years Do you like things like brunch, Apartment Therapy and iced matcha I meet all of these qualifications except for the matcha so I seem to be the exact audience that Sheila Heti is aiming for.But this was 281 pages of the biggest navel gazing I ve ever seen in my entire life What self centered, elitist musings The two stars are rewarded to Heti s willingness to completely buck genre and expectation She just writes things and calls them whatever she calls them and that s what they are, and because I ve read most of How Should A Person Be in school and liked it, I know she can string a sentence together Had I not read that previously, I would think her experimentation with form was just bad writing, but because I ve seen it in action before I think I ll give it to her.But it seemed painfully obvious through out the majority of this novel memoir that she did NOT want to have children, and the fact that she should even be debating it, a little ridiculous By the time she s landed on something interesting her grandmother the Holocaust survivor, her mother s depression and early abandonment of her for a medical career we rethan half way through and they re hardly explored In fact, Heti goes so far as to compare her not having a child to the moment her grandmother narrowly avoided being shot at Auschwitz Throughelegant language, of course But cringe.She spends the majority of the book asking rhetorical questions she claims to have answered through coin flips, complaining about her narcissistic boyfriend who fucks her in the ass her words, not mine in the middle of the night and artistically describing her tears I m not joking.The most disturbing thing to me about this book was how openly Heti rebuked birth control, openly admitting early on that her and her partner practice pulling out as a method of birth control Later, in the course of a single page, she gets an IUD inserted, complains of the insertion pain and then claims she had to hobble around for the next few days before getting it removed When gigantic chunks of the book are dedicated to her tears and near relationship ending fights with the ass fucker Miles, I wanted to scream HOW CAN WE HAVE THIS HONEST DIALOGUE ABOUT REPRODUCTION WHEN YOU WON T EVEN PRACTICE SAFE SEX and MAYBE YOUR PMS RELATED MOODS WOULD BE REGULATED BY BIRTH CONTROL No, actually, at the end she gets prescribed anti depressants and LITERALLY skips home wondering how the rest of the world doesn t know about this bliss Motherhood is of the body Of course it is many things, but a gigantic part of it is that it is OF THE BODY You are creating, carrying and releasing a human being from within your own body This glossing over of those decisions and considerations when it seems nothing else in the book is glossed over left me shocked Birth control and the physicality of birth were thought of in the most juvenile terms Is she being facetious Ironic Artistic Who cares If I have to ask that question, then she s not writing with an authority that lets me know she knows, I m left only to wonder.In fact, I take that back, the most disturbing thing about this book is that all these things can be true and Heti is still selling boat loads of this book, that she s getting these gigantic blurbs by famous writers calling this work revolutionary Why is it revolutionary Because Heti decided to lay bare her desires not to have a child These are not revolutionary concepts There was through out the book a screaming absence of awareness Heti s fictional version of herself does not seem to acknowledge the concept of motherhood as it exists around the world Heti is Canadian, but that s so close to American, and she spends so much time on book tour, it barely translates Heti can only write as the person she is, but somewhere that worldly awareness has to factor At the very least I would ve liked to see Heti leaninto the relationship between her grandmother and mother, whose lives and motherhood were so profoundly affected by trauma and depression All we get is a few borderline offensive allusions to said experiences.There are important existential questions about womanhood that Heti never loses sight of She never lets us forget that this is a book about a woman, butimportantly it is relentlessly examining a woman s issue Pregnancy, motherhood, andimportantly the life the lives that is forged by a single woman making a single decision to procreate This is an analysis present in the minds of almost every woman at some time, and the lyrical almost bouncing prose that Heti offers should be enough But as aforementioned, the lack of objectivity, the narrator s utter lack of consideration for motherhood as a worldwide affliction condition decision seemed brutally apparent How does her intergenerational observations of motherhood consider what it is like to parent around the world Orimportantly, what it s like to parent or consider parenthood when you are not living a life of privilege Thus this book can not be definitive unless you fit Heti s mold

  6. Britta Böhler says:

    What is the main activity of a woman s life if not motherhood Seriously SERIOUSLY

  7. Canadian says:

    In a piece of occasionally self indulgent and overly long autobiographical fiction, Sheila Heti explores the question of whether or not to have children Her unnamed narrator, like Heti herself, is a Toronto writer approaching forty with a loudly ticking biological clock All the central character s friends are reproducing, and she feels a degree of abandonment by them as they surrender to the biological imperative she resists Her boyfriend, Miles, who himself fathered a child when young, is su In a piece of occasionally self indulgent and overly long autobiographical fiction, Sheila Heti explores the question of whether or not to have children Her unnamed narrator, like Heti herself, is a Toronto writer approaching forty with a loudly ticking biological clock All the central character s friends are reproducing, and she feels a degree of abandonment by them as they surrender to the biological imperative she resists Her boyfriend, Miles, who himself fathered a child when young, is supportive of whatever decision she comes to He is of the opinion that a person can t be both a great artist and a great parent He is also somewhat contemptuous of the haughty superiority of those who have reproduced and fulfilled the social contract Parenthood is the biggest scam of all, he observes at one point Yes, it s a lot of hard work, but I don t see why it s supposed to be so virtuous to do work you created for yourself out of purely your own self interest I sometimes grew weary of the protagonist s frequent recounting of dreams and lengthy transcriptions of her oracular coin tossing episodes She regularly flipped three coins to gain answers to hard questions about her own destiny Her seemingly endless moods, tears, and ruminations about her fights with her boyfriend also didn t sit so well after a while While I can t exactly say I was a fan of Miles and could have managed quite well without some of theintimate details of the couple s life I did understand his occasional exasperation with all the crying and his need to escape the apartment in order to clear his head There really are too many pages given to relationship issues and female insecurity in this novel, which reads mostly like an essay personal memoir hybrid but sometimes a little too much like an extended piece of journal therapy Having said that, I do think that by the end of the book, Heti has provided considerable context for her narrator s dilemma, mostly by exploring the trauma in the history of the character s Hungarian Jewish family The reader is informed that the narrator s paternal great grandparents died in the Holocaust And even though her orphaned maternal grandmother, Magda, managed to survive the death camps, marrying the son of a woman she tended to there, she still failed to realize her dreams A bright, determined woman who pursued first a high school, then a university education as a mature student, Magda had ambitious plans for a law career These were dashed by her husband s illicit business practices She would die in her early fifties of an distinctly female malady uterine cancer Her daughter, the narrator s mother, has also been plagued by unhappiness A workaholic pathologist whose primary relationship in life was always with her mother, she is incapable of moving out of intense grief over the loss of that parent Having immigrated to Canada as a young married woman, she is debilitated by guilt about leaving her ailing mother in the old country Overwork provides a certain respite, however.The narrator learned early in life that the women in her family have defined themselves primarily through work, not through motherhood There is a history, here, of chafing against societal and educational constraints on women In light of all this the unavailable, often tearful, clearly clinically depressed mother the emphasis by the women who came before her on making something of one s life the introspective narrator s ambivalence about childbearing makes complete sense She recalls that as a child she wanted to grow up to be like her mother, who had left the family home and taken her own apartment so that she could focus, free of all distraction, on her medical studies As an adult, the narrator intuits that creative work, not motherhood, is the answer for her, as well Early on in the book, she speculates that her work has the potential to mend the generational sadness If I am a good enough writer, perhaps I can stop her my mother from crying Perhaps I can figure out why she is crying, and why I cry, too, and I can heal us both with my words As Heti s book draws to a conclusion, her protagonist seeks medical help for her ongoing emotional distress, which threatens to destroy her relationship Interestingly, psychoactive drugs lift the oppressive pall of self absorption The shaking, jittering problem of living, the ambivalence and internal circular arguments about whether or not to have a child abate This is me returning, she writes, This is me coming back from an interior that I did not know was so intense There seems to be some suggestion here that much of the sturm und drang is due to biology endogenous depression and distressing hormonal fluctuations The narrator visits her now retired mother, who has relocated to a spacious, airy home, apparently on the British Columbia Coast There, in a bathroom cabinet, she discovers a prescription bottle of antidepressants, and sees that she and her mother have had similar struggles Her mother also admits that motherhood was not the most important part of her life something the narrator is now ripe to accept given her own ambivalence about bearing a child, when a life of the mind and the expanse of freedom it affords is what she herself values most Yes,Motherhoodis overtly an exploration of the question of whether or not to have a child Finishing it, though, I felt it was just as much an exploration of maternal legacy in this case, the carrying forward of sadness and familial values about the importance of stimulating or creative work In the end, the narrator understands and owns what she stated much earlier in the book To transform the greyish and muddy landscape of my mind into a solid and concrete thing, utterly apart from me not a baby, but a book was my only hope

  8. Thomas says:

    An insightful, charismatic, deeply felt autobiographical novel that centers on the theme of motherhood Our protagonist, an unnamed woman in her late thirties, feels pressured to have a child from her friends and from a society that values women based on their capacity to reproduce This pressure launches our protagonist into a compelling self exploration about whether she should have children, the emotions and morals surrounding the idea of having a child, for whom she wants to live her life, a An insightful, charismatic, deeply felt autobiographical novel that centers on the theme of motherhood Our protagonist, an unnamed woman in her late thirties, feels pressured to have a child from her friends and from a society that values women based on their capacity to reproduce This pressure launches our protagonist into a compelling self exploration about whether she should have children, the emotions and morals surrounding the idea of having a child, for whom she wants to live her life, and .I so cherished this book s strong emotional pull Sheila Heti instills our narrator with such a palpable, relatable angst about her choice to have a child or not See, for example, this passage about how your friends abandon you to have kids, which connects so much to my feelings about my friends potentially abandoning me and the intimacy of our friendship as we get olderI had always thought my friends and I were moving into the same land together, a childless land where we would just do a million things together forever I thought our minds and souls were all cast the same way, not that they were waiting for the right moment to jump ship, which is how it feels as they abandon me here I should not think of it as an abandoning, but it would be wrong to say it s not a loss, or that I m not startled at being so alone How had I taken all of us as the same Is that why I started wondering about having kids because, one by one, the ice floe on which we were all standing was broken and made smaller, leaving me alone on just the tiniest piece of ice, which I had thought would remain vast, like a very large continent on which we d all stay It never occurred to me that I d be the only one left here I know I m not the only one left, yet how can I trust the few who remain, when I d been so mistaken about the restMy favorite part of this book is Heti s sharp, profound insight about motherhood and the pressure society puts on us, especially women, to have children She investigates the idea of motherhood with much emotional and cultural depth, exploring the painful feelings motherhood, or lack thereof, may bring, as well as the joy of not having kids During the middle section of the book, I came across many passages that made me think yes, she gets it This passage, for example, about motherhood and doing good in the worldThere is no inherent good in being born The child would not otherwise miss its life Nothing harms the earththan another person and nothing harms a personthan being born If I really wanted to have a baby, it would be better to adopt Even better would be to give the money I would have spent on raising a child to those organizations that give women who can t afford it condoms and birth control and education and abortions, and so save these women s lives That would be aworthwhile contribution to this world than adding onetroubled person from my own troubled womb I did find the novel s structure odd and hard to follow at times I would definitely not start this book thinking you will receive something that makes much concrete or chronological sense Rather, it is a composite of emotions and ideas all tied together in an unconventional yet fitting way I also wish Heti had applied the same rigor of thought in which she examined motherhood to her relationship with Miles, which felt a bit like a cliche romance Still, I enjoyed Motherhood a lot I already know it is a book I will return to as I get older and many succumb to the pressure of having a kid This book felt like thefree flowing, less focused version of the title essay of Rebecca Solnit s masterful collection The Mother of All Questions The book felt like what I wanted The Art of Waiting to be, too Anyway, I will end this review with one last iconic passageBesides, there are so many kinds of live to give birth to in this world, apart from a literal human life And there are children everywhere, and parents needing help everywhere, and so much work to be done, and lives to be affirmed that are not necessarily the lives we would have chosen, had we started again The whole world needs to be mothered I don t need to invent a brand new life to give the warming effect to my life I imagine mothering will bring There are lives and duties everywhere just crying out for a mother That mother could be you

  9. Antoinette says:

    This book did absolutely nothing for me For most of the book, I felt like I was in the author s brain going round and round on a merry go round with no end in sight.To be or not to be a mother, that is the question Why can t I commit What is wrong with me And if I do decide to take the plunge, will it devastate my life A woman who is so wrapped up in herself, she cannot see what is staring her in the face She needs help For all the introspection and all that soul searching, the book felt This book did absolutely nothing for me For most of the book, I felt like I was in the author s brain going round and round on a merry go round with no end in sight.To be or not to be a mother, that is the question Why can t I commit What is wrong with me And if I do decide to take the plunge, will it devastate my life A woman who is so wrapped up in herself, she cannot see what is staring her in the face She needs help For all the introspection and all that soul searching, the book felt clinical to me I felt nothing for her and her dilemma.I read this book for a literary book group To say I did not like this book would be an understatement

  10. Never Without a Book says:

    I found this book extremely tedious and contrived All of the coin flipping and existential questions was dumb Overall, this seemed too self focused and pretentious Are you happy it s over.YesAre you getting your credit back from audible.Hell YES Would you recommend this book suck teeth Ready for that drink now.