Meaty

Meaty PDF/EPUB ´ Paperback
  • Paperback
  • 250
  • Meaty
  • Samantha Irby
  • English
  • 01 September 2017
  • 0988480425

About the Author: Samantha Irby

Meaty PDF/EPUB ´ Paperback meaty free, MeatyMeaty PDFi m a slow reader.


MeatyMeaty PDF/EPUB ´ Paperback meaty free, MeatyMeaty PDFSamantha Irby explodes onto the printed page with her debut collection of brand new essays about trying to laugh her way through failed relationships, being black, taco feasts, bouts with Crohn s disease, and Every essay is crafted with the same scathing wit and poignant candor thousands of loyal readers have come to expect from visiting her notoriously hilarious blog.

You may also like...

10 thoughts on “Meaty

  1. Dita says:

    This collection of essays is so funny that I was dangerously close to being in Depends territory.

  2. Richard Derus says:

    2019 UPDATE Samantha Irby hit it big Comedy Central is developing this essay collection with her own good self as writer and executive producer Real Rating 3.5 of fiveIt s Women s History Month Time to visit or revisit work by women who have inspired, uplifted, made a difference to you, to me, to us all I reviewed this collection of essays for The Small Press Book Review It s by a blogger called Samantha Irby, a Person of Size whose blog is called Bitches Gotta Eat.I wasn t sure about these 2019 UPDATE Samantha Irby hit it big Comedy Central is developing this essay collection with her own good self as writer and executive producer Real Rating 3.5 of fiveIt s Women s History Month Time to visit or revisit work by women who have inspired, uplifted, made a difference to you, to me, to us all I reviewed this collection of essays for The Small Press Book Review It s by a blogger called Samantha Irby, a Person of Size whose blog is called Bitches Gotta Eat.I wasn t sure about these essays until I hit the one on diets and dieting, when I started laughing so hard I scared the dog Read the review, see why I quoted the to me funniest one of them.The Publisher Says Samantha Irby explodes onto the page in her debut collection of brand new essays about being a complete dummy trying to laugh her way through her ridiculous life of failed relationships, taco feasts, bouts with Crohn s Disease, , all told with the same scathing wit poignant candor long time readers have come to expect from her notoriously hilarious blog, www.bitchesgottaeat.com.In addition to co hosting The Sunday Night Sex Show, a sex positive live lit show, and Guts Glory, a reading series featuring essayists, Samantha has performed all over Chicago She opened for Baratunde Thurston during his How to Be Black tour She has been profiled in the Chicago Sun Times as well as in Time Out Chicago, and her work has appeared on The Rumpus and Jezebel Samantha and partner Ian Belknap write a comedy advice blog at www.irbyandian.com.My Review It s good to be young I remember that I m not young any, and frankly wouldn t be young again for all the money there is But that s age s privilege, to celebrate itself Every age s privilege, in fact, and Samantha Irby celebrates being young.In a very testy way.Hell, if I had Crohn s disease, I d be testy too In fact, I am testy, no Crohn s needed But Irby gets testy over very young problems, as in the essay Would Dying Alone Really Be So Terrible I want to watch porn by myself, because a dude just won t let you take five minutes to masturbate without his dick thinking it s an invitation, and then that five minutes becomes twenty five minutes if you re lucky of heat and sweat and effed up hair and having to remake the bed and being late for work and even then, after all that grunting and shoving and groaning, you might STILL have to get your vibrator out while this motherfucker passes out on top of the shirt you d taken out to wear to the office.This is the kind of problem a lot of folks of either gender and all persuasions would enjoy having, if the dating sites usage and match up numbers aren t complete lies.Irby s brand of testy humor gets a laugh out loud funny workout in her meditation on the American obsession with weight, weight loss, effort free weight loss, and laziness in The Tapeworm Diet She appears, on her teensy little blog avatar, not to be an immensely large person, but I don t know this for a fact as I ve never met the lady She claims to be sizable I eat bad things and go to sleep immediately afterward There, I solved the mystery of fatness for you You re welcome Garshk, and here I thought it was my slow metabolism Irby then goes on to skewer the un fucking believable idiotic should be illegal insanities out there for an unsuspecting public to follow as diets The Twinkie Diet.A typical day in the life of Kansas State University nutrition researcher Mark Haub, creator of the Junk Food Diet, which consists of 60% junk food supplemented by a protein shake, multivitamin pills, and a can of green beans or four stalks of celery every day He avoided meats, whole grains, and fruits September 10, 2010 A double espresso two servings of Hostess Twinkies Golden Sponge Cake one Centrum Advanced Formula pill one serving of Little Debbie Star Crunch cookies my jam a Diet Mountain Dew barf half a serving of Doritos Cool Ranch corn chips two servings of Kellogg s Corn Pops cereal a serving of whole milk squirt half a serving of raw baby carrots one and a half servings of Duncan Hines Family Style Chewy Fudge brownie half a serving of Little Debbie Zebra Cake one serving of Muscle Milk Protein Shake drink Total 1589 calories.Just reading that shit makes my fucking teeth hurt I think I also might ve just caught diabetes through the computer screen This can t be life, right Snack cakes and baby carrots NO IT CANNOT.Sing it, soul daughter Couldn t have said it better myownself The spoiledness of the average American is never inbreathtaking relief than in diet advice and weight loss program information Most people on the planet would like to have enough food to get full once a day People here eat so much they need advice on how not to turn into land blimps Something is wrong with this picture Samantha Irby makes you giggle as she pokes your social conscience, so permaybehaps people who need to hear will listen without realizing what they re hearing It s the only way past their privileged person defenses, the evidence shows.The collection is far and away best taken in doses It s like any smorgasbord The offerings are tempting, and the urge to overindulge is strong Resist the urge that you not grow indifferent to the charms of the groaning board Read one or two of these tempting treats Put the book down, pick up something grim and joyless for a contrastare you caught up on your Bola o reading isn t there a new Murakami or something and then come back to laugh and learn.Wait I didn t mean learn I meant enjoy Enjoy, not something hard and boring like learn This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution NonCommercial ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License

  3. Kelly (and the Book Boar) says:

    Find all of my reviews at you are a person of weak constitution or with delicate sensibilities, I have one thing to say to you about MeatyNot even kidding R.U.N Because this author is the posterchild forHowever, if you are like me you will read the following which appears on like Page 2 I am irritated 99.8% of the time I hate everything I loathe everyoneAnd instantly have this to say to Samanth Find all of my reviews at you are a person of weak constitution or with delicate sensibilities, I have one thing to say to you about MeatyNot even kidding R.U.N Because this author is the posterchild forHowever, if you are like me you will read the following which appears on like Page 2 I am irritated 99.8% of the time I hate everything I loathe everyoneAnd instantly have this to say to Samantha IrbyBy the time I got to thisIf you could wish for one thing, anything you ever wanted, what would it be An army of weaponized beesI was like But for the rest of you I ain t playin around I m going to let Irby s own words sell her book, but PLEASE note these are benign examples and she totally overshares about many various sex things and diarrhea and don t even think about telling me I Suck Turtles if you read this and get offended by it because it is REALLY going to offend a lot of people Just not people like me probably due to all of the turtle sucking I ve done in the past Anyway, let s get on with this short shitshow and the sharing of a few quotes that made me really happy Jeebus invented Poise Pads Do you own a pair of skinny jeans Yes, but after I saw a picture of myself in the newspaper wearing them last summer I am never wearing those assholes in public ever again I am obviously going to die alone, in giant panties that come up to my chin, with crumbs under my tits, and a half eaten cat face My sister did Slim Fast once and her farts were bad enough to singe my fucking nose hairs She burned a hole through the seat of her jeans Not even kidding We had to keep a fire extinguisher next to the goddamned toilet I know you think I m making this up but there was literal fire shooting out of her butt It was like living with a dragon A skinny fat, cranky dragon who could light the dinner candles with her assholeAnd the pi ce de r sistanceEvery time I see a Cialis commercial I think, Oh my fucking GOD, I bet the last thing that old broad wants to do is wait for that old dude to finish raking those leaves while his boner pill kicks inI am in love with this woman

  4. rachel says:

    If there is a lifestyle porn subgenre for adult women who don t live in saucy Real Simple inspired dwellings but instead sit in their dumpy apartments eating cereal every meal, unshaven legs propped up on a raggedy ottoman, I will be the champion of that genre I love stories of women who are trying to be adults, but who get frustrated with the details and all of the effort and straight lacedness and just fucking live in a way that makes them happy, even if they are broke or their carpets are fu If there is a lifestyle porn subgenre for adult women who don t live in saucy Real Simple inspired dwellings but instead sit in their dumpy apartments eating cereal every meal, unshaven legs propped up on a raggedy ottoman, I will be the champion of that genre I love stories of women who are trying to be adults, but who get frustrated with the details and all of the effort and straight lacedness and just fucking live in a way that makes them happy, even if they are broke or their carpets are full of crumbs Meaty is kind of all over the place and parts of it feel like space fillers BUT in the sense of just being a person that she wants to be, Samantha Irby is sort of my hero Her blog is definitely funnier, though I m not saying that as a dig, because I like this lady a lot I m just saying, comparatively On a personal note it warmed my heart to see the chapter about thumbsucking, because I, like Irby, sucked my thumb into early adulthood in private in times of stress and still continue to do so in my sleep 50% of nights And now that I am living in sin I am incredibly self conscious about the mornings I wake and pry my long suffering thumb from my mouth, wondering how it got in there when I didn t fall asleep with it in It s embarrassing and I feel crazy sometimes and Irby does too, but I felt such a kinship in knowing I share a not so secret shame with another mostly functional adult

  5. Hannah says:

    I love Samantha Irby I adored her second essay collection, I find her funny and relatable, and I enjoyed this collection her first now republished with a beautiful cover a whole lot as well I have been reading mostly heavy memoirs and this was the perfect antidote to those While there is obvious darkness here, there is also light and humour I absolutely sped through this and it made me happy while doing so.I adore her language and her honesty I love how honest she talks about her body and I love Samantha Irby I adored her second essay collection, I find her funny and relatable, and I enjoyed this collection her first now republished with a beautiful cover a whole lot as well I have been reading mostly heavy memoirs and this was the perfect antidote to those While there is obvious darkness here, there is also light and humour I absolutely sped through this and it made me happy while doing so.I adore her language and her honesty I love how honest she talks about her body and Krohn s disease I love how she structures her essays and her thoughts I do not mind her vulgarity at all and in fact appreciated its freshness.As most of you will know, I adore memoirs written by women funnier than me and Samantha Irby is among the funniest I do think her second collection is the stronger of the two which only makes meexcited to see whatever she does next Also, this book is being made into a TV series and I cannot tell you how excited I am.I received an ARC of this book courtesy of NetGalley and Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group in exchange for an honest review.You can find this review and other thoughts on books on my blog

  6. Madeline says:

    Samantha Irby s first book was given to me by my best friend, who is a legit writer who performs her nonfiction essays in front of people like some kind of professional and is my go to expert on which essay collections to read I wasn t familiar with Irby, or her blog, before this book was given to me, but I m officially a convert now Her essays are personal and heartfelt and really, really funny, and her voice is so strong that it practically leaps off the page I have never met Samantha Irby Samantha Irby s first book was given to me by my best friend, who is a legit writer who performs her nonfiction essays in front of people like some kind of professional and is my go to expert on which essay collections to read I wasn t familiar with Irby, or her blog, before this book was given to me, but I m officially a convert now Her essays are personal and heartfelt and really, really funny, and her voice is so strong that it practically leaps off the page I have never met Samantha Irby, but reading her essays felt like I was sitting across from her at brunch, snorting my mimosa out my nose while I listened to her telling me about her dating life If I never get banged on a king sized bed with NO SHEETS and ONE LUMPY PILLOW ever again in my fucking life it would be too goddamn soon Dudes always want to try to fuck you in the abandoned warehouse in which they re squatting Or at least that s what the shit fucking looks like, all bare walls and furniture procured from alleys and shit Would it kill you motherfuckers to put a mat in the bathroom To buy soap with a moisturizing agent Why do you dudes only own one towel And a hand towel at that Why do you have no paper towels Why is all your shit in garbage bags even though you moved in two years ago Why does it smell like gym shoes and testicles in your apartment Why do you refuse to purchase a fitted sheet at the very least Do I really have to SLEEP IN MY GODDAMNED CLOTHES TO STAY WARM UP IN HERE Or hearing about her meeting with her accountant So it s tax time, and my homeboy was over the other night badgering me about filing a return, asking me about all my receipts and bank statements and whether or not I saved the checks I used to pay for that class I took Um yeah, right I m sure I either burned that shit or flushed it down the toilet or used it to line Helen Keller s litterbox Save my receipts, for what To prove to the government how many times I purchased the same exact black sweater at the Gap Hold on to my bank statements, for whom To prove how many times I stopped and started and stopped and RE started paying for eHarmony, or whatever YEAH, RIGHT Is there some sort of loneliness deduction I don t know about Some alcoholic tax credit No Then get the fuck out of my face with that Amid the humor, Irby also shares frank, unsentimental stories about her childhood and her chronic health problems, and they re never presented as misery porn or let me get all philosophical about my struggles and how they made me who I am Instead, Irby recounts everything with a clear eyed, so get this shit tone that never gets maudlin or flippant Meaty is definitely one of the most fun and entertaining essay collections I ve read in a long time

  7. Julie Ehlers says:

    What is there to say about this except that Samantha Irby is the most hilarious Meaty was her first book, originally self published It s apparently been revised somehow under the eye of the editors at Vintage, but as always it s clear that Irby is a natural talent not always the case with bloggers turned authors, as we ve all seen And when she gets serious, as in her rant near the end on dating disappointment and bitterness, she s just as effective Her tendency to reveal everything is oc What is there to say about this except that Samantha Irby is the most hilarious Meaty was her first book, originally self published It s apparently been revised somehow under the eye of the editors at Vintage, but as always it s clear that Irby is a natural talent not always the case with bloggers turned authors, as we ve all seen And when she gets serious, as in her rant near the end on dating disappointment and bitterness, she s just as effective Her tendency to reveal everything is occasionally a bit TMI, but I m well aware that it s this honesty that makes her writing so singular Can t wait for her next essay collection, and I don t think I ve ever said those words about anyone else s essays before, except for David Sedaris s Good company indeed

  8. Victor Giron says:

    I m publishing this so yeah I love it

  9. Janet says:

    Samantha Irby is a bucket of ice water in the face, the hottest chili in the supposedly mild batch, the best pastrami sandwich in the world the shock of the bold in other words Not for the squeamish this Chicago humorist writes of life meaty and unmediated If you like your humor STRONG, if you can take the rawness of being female without a bow on top, if you think language is there to be wielded as a weapon in the war against despair and conformity and timidity and make it all nice ness, y Samantha Irby is a bucket of ice water in the face, the hottest chili in the supposedly mild batch, the best pastrami sandwich in the world the shock of the bold in other words Not for the squeamish this Chicago humorist writes of life meaty and unmediated If you like your humor STRONG, if you can take the rawness of being female without a bow on top, if you think language is there to be wielded as a weapon in the war against despair and conformity and timidity and make it all nice ness, you NEED this book I laughed until I nearly eviscerated myself, ached for the desperation of a family on the ropes, for this colossus of energy having to live with a debilitating illness and the ongoing struggle of the artist in a society which takes no prisoners and makes no allowances for ability and genius This is quiet desperation turned inside out, and so roaringly funny I m already making a Christmas list and let s just say those girlfriends who thought Bridesmaids was disgusting are not on it The essays about her own family and physical condition she s been diagnosed with Crohn s disease anchor the humor of the collection with the darkness of real and ongoing problems that can t be solved, are simply facts of a very real woman s life, which would be a prison without this energy and and fury and crazy humor, the outlet of writing itself Cannot recommend enough

  10. Erica says:

    I can t say I enjoyed this Well, I mean, I can but I would be lying because this was not at all enjoyable to me.And yet it was quite often relatable.And it s candid And dryly funny.But mostly it s meaty, as the title suggests, and I do not like too much meat It doesn t digest well in my delicate system.As you can see, it took me almost a month and a half to read this book of 253 pages, all essays It was a slog to get through because I felt weighed down so much of the time but I am glad I rea I can t say I enjoyed this Well, I mean, I can but I would be lying because this was not at all enjoyable to me.And yet it was quite often relatable.And it s candid And dryly funny.But mostly it s meaty, as the title suggests, and I do not like too much meat It doesn t digest well in my delicate system.As you can see, it took me almost a month and a half to read this book of 253 pages, all essays It was a slog to get through because I felt weighed down so much of the time but I am glad I read it and I kinda wish Irby and I ran in the same circles On the other hand, I m kinda glad we don t I already have my I love you so much but please, I am begging you, get yourself together friend I think we all do Maybe that s why Irby is so easy to adore as you roll your eyes at her shenanigans.Of particular note to me were the following essays At 30 She turns 30, has a list of gripes, some relatable and others not so much, and then she says this I needpeople to describe me as the funniest person they know Honey, you and I share goals Forest Whitaker s Neck IHATEDdating so much that I had repressed most of my memories from those times but she came along and used this essay to bring them all to light Gross sheets full of the leftovers from people before me, finding other LAYdies hairs in the beard of the guy you re banging, stiff crotched panties the next morning Ugh This is probably the real reason I got married Dating is a horrorscape How To Get Your Disgusting Meat Carcass Ready For Some New, Hot Sex Irby and I suddenly became twins because this is all me All me except for the part about sucking on toes That is the polar opposite of me Would Dying Alone Really Be So Terrible Answer No No, it would not be, not at all The Tapeworm Diet The fatness mystery SOLVED GG, Irby But then she calls Beezus Beatrice and that s not ok I Want To Put a Fat Bitch On Television And I want the rest of Nell s story, soget on it, lady Make this happen.I read this collection after everyone else read and reviewed We Are Never Meeting In Real Life Those reviews made me want to read that book but I saw we had this at the library and decided to start at the beginning without actually doing the work of starting at the real beginning because I m too lazy for that I mean, look It took me 1.5 months to read a short book of essays I d be dead before I finished a blog.But I may read that thing, anyway, because I find I kinda love Irby now